Occupational Hazzard

As everyone who has had a conversation with me in the last four years knows, I’ve done a lot of work on issues of domestic violence and sexual assault. I wrote most of my papers for school on the issue, read books in my leisure time on the topic, and obviously have focused my career on stopping it. When you spend your time thinking about how small acts cause a violent society, you see the small acts as major problems (for more information on this—just get me started, anytime, anywhere).

Our last apartment complex, dear old Eagle Heights, had a very high rate of domestic violence. Part of that is just the world we live in, and part of that was the composition of the community. As a result, the university had taken some positive steps towards assisting residents and minimizing opportunities to exert power and control over another. It wasn’t perfect, but I knew they were trying.

Upon arriving at our new University Apartment in Ann Arbor, we were given two keys to the apartment—and a single mailbox key. Most would have quietly accepted their keys without question. I am rarely quiet. I asked why only one key. The undergraduate student checking us in seemed startled by the question, but informed us that a second key was available with a $5 cash deposit.

In domestic violence situations, abusers try to cut their victims off from the world. They unplug the phones, password protect the internet, keep the car keys, even take cables with them when they leave the house to prevent their partner from making contact with others. The mail could be a safe way for victims to communicate with friends and family—if they could reliably be sure they would be the first to check the mail. Having only one key to the mailbox gives one person power. I understand the University might not want to go through the hassle of making extra keys some residents wont need, but at the very least, they should automatically inform all residents that a second key could be obtained.

I explained the domestic violence/mailbox key issue to my sister, who told her husband. His opinion of the situation: “It must be really hard to live with your sister.”

And given that I’m still mad about this two weeks later, I bet it is.